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Gaining Male Confidence

Confidence extends into every aspect of your life, whether social, work or personal. In 2018 the interconnected world of social media is creating societies filled with anxiety, competition and worry. To overcompensate some men and boys act with arrogance, confusing it with a mature and confident outlook.

Real confidence however is reserved, safe in the knowledge of righteous reasoning. This is much more impressive to people, from your boss to your potential partner. Showing through body language that you are confident is unpretentious and will bring returns from every facet of your daily life.

Exercise - this keeps cropping up in all areas of improving manhood. Exercise releases endorphins in your brain. Being happier and healthier naturally increases personal confidence levels. Don’t miss out on this key basic step.

Lifelong Learning - being stupid is never attractive and will not help your social confidence. No one is born a genius - you have to work for your knowledge. Most of us never read a book. Assuming 1 book a year of adulthood this is only 60 books in a whole lifetime! A poor adult reading rate. Learning will keep your mind active and sharp. We need not list here the obvious benefits you will gain from being able to think faster and smarter.

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Stick to your Dreams - A man with direction will have more focus and direction. Knowing what to do and when is the essence of confidence. If you are distracted and anxious this will come across in your scatterbrained approach to life. Making realistic and approachable aims will create a positive feedback loop as you feel better with each accomplishment ticked off.

Take Pride in Personal Appearance - Psychologically, faking it is reality being the truth. If you wash and dress well you will feel you look the part, reducing the impact of imposter syndrome. This syndrome happens to many qualified people in a new job or situation. The novelty makes you nervous rather than your lack of qualification, hence ‘imposter’ syndrome.

Build On Your Progress - reflect on past endeavors and successful moments in your life. See if you can apply the same methods again. Acting at random will also give a random outcome. Thinking scientifically about your efforts and for how long is more effective way of living. Acting this way will make day to day living effortless. If you find life easier that will inspire confidence. Being mentally more confident will come across in your actions and behaviour.

Stop Fake Comparison - Don’t get caught up in the arms race of comparing yourself to other men. The idea of confidence is being happy with your own self, not that you feel superior to others around you. Looking at health or fashion magazines is the classic way people start people begin to form negative opinions about their body image. You will never be able to replicate the type of body image that you see on these publications. The models on the covers have specialist nutritional and fitness guidance, focussing on their look as the main source of their income. Then the picture is taken by a professional photographer and plenty of post editing is applied in the darkroom as well. All in all this adds up to something that is unattainable or at least not sustainable.

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Be Your Own Mind - Confidence comes from within, from stability of your own mind. This means less worrying about what other people are saying, less worrying about the past and the future and less worrying about realities out of your control. Take lessons from those who have shown great resilience and use it to strengthen your own resolve. A good way to do this is first by learning and reading. Find out which techniques are best for you, there is much to pick from, everything from CBT, meditation and more. By clearing your head you can begin to look at what holds you back in life and cleanse it from your life. You can make better decisions and be more aware of the future impact of your behavior and choices.

As can be seen from the list complied, confidence is a product of synergy. Health comes front and center, but being able to work happily in society is central to building self belief. Start  on the available pointers for the future. This is not a story of overnight success, build foundations slowly and grind at things over time.